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Ceefax Page 888 Needed I Think....

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Ceefax page 888 all round or wot? – Moscow 24th September

I avent really been one to talk proper queens English n that, and no one sed I talk that RP n all that carry on. So its been gettin proper annoyin when people av been saying that they don’t understand a word I av been sayin, I meen I am from Middlesboro, but I don’t talk like proper Boro or out, I was brought up a bit better than that an I don’t talk through my nose like them bad boyz from Grove Hill and Grangetown do. So I waz with these peeps who reakoned that they have never eard an accent like this one befor, like. Thought I woz from Ireland like or sommat, or Scottissh, I meen whats that all about ey?? I'm a proper northerner and don’t talk like those southern fairy boyz in the capital. Godz countree I'm from aren’t I, yeah man, boro is class innit? Me Mam taut me ow to speek and I'm proper proud of her for that for shizzle.

Anywayz, so me new marra’s were always tellin me to slow down wen I'm speekin cos they couldn’t make out wot I was sayin, sed I woz speekin too fast n that. Fuck off man, we invented the language didn’t we, they got a lot to learn from me like? Its them that’s got the funny accents like, n I don’t know wot they are sayin. I jus smile and nod me ed like a nice English boy I am. Like me Mam would have told me to do.

So the werst time was wen ma feet were killin me, an I was proper nackered, told em I wanted to grab some scran didn’t a, and get tucked in to some bevvies n that. Didn’t have a fucking clue wot I was on about, dickeads.

I told em, its you dat needs subtitles mate, have you got page 888 goin on or what, cant understand a word your sayin kidda. nodded though didn he, smiled n that, maybe like his Ma told him to do n that, gud lad.

I dunno, these foreners, think they can speek proper English.

So I ad some bevvies didn’t a, got a bit pissed, was well wrecked wasn’t a? didn’t feel me feet after that like did a? me n me new marra just sat there smilin n that, proper buzzin weren’t we, class innit. Couldn’t ger ome like, lived up on the perple line on the underground n that, underground was shut as fuck, had to gerra gypsy cab, like one that you flag down n that, was a bit dodgy like, couldn’t understand a word he woz sayin, sed it ded loud an all, dunno mate, just wasn’t appenin. Ere mate you, you understand Eeenglish like or wot?

Ad to walk ome didn’t we, proper gutted, pissing down wasn’t it? Got proper soaked n me legs started knacking all over again.

Me marra just smiling all night, whats his crack, don’t he know what I'm goin on about or wot? Dickhead.

Article By David Beattie of Rounton Coffee

Posted by beatski 10:31 Archived in Russia Tagged foreign pronunciation ceefax received

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