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Sign 'O' the Times

Ridiculous Chinese Signs

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Sign ‘O’ the Times – China 6th November

The Chinese have given us a lot of things, Paper, Tea, Delicate Pottery, Fireworks, Water Torture, and the revered Mao, but let's not forget what China continues to give us and no its not poor quality household products or lethal toys for children, that is poor translation to English. Here is a few of the most memorable signs and interpretations that I have found whilst travelling in this godforsaken country ;-)

(Ill throw a few Japanese ones in here as well)

Father Gathering????
I really have no idea about this one....
Tick and Hot Curry????!!!
A pungent drink perhaps??

All very innocent enough, though I did see a guy wearing a t-shirt with 'Wank' written right across it.... im not sure he knew what this actually meant, and i couldnt quite get my camera out in time.....

Article By David Beattie of Rounton Coffee

Posted by beatski 19:31 Archived in China Tagged signs in english japanese bad chinese translation interpreted Comments (1)

Im a Smoggy, Get me out of here....

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Chongquing to Guilin 5th November

I have had to cheat, my ambition was to get all the way to Hong Kong from Middlesbrough Train station and to do it completely overland before I took my first flight to Japan.

That was my objective, but I failed. China has crippled me in every sense of the word and I need to get to a place where I could relax, where I could fatten up (I had lost another 2 kilos at this point, weighing in at an all-time low of 78kgs). I had tried to book train tickets but they only had hard seating which would have been a heroic achievement had I been able to stand 23 hours of it. No, I was ruined and decided that all I could do was to catch a plane that would take me straight to Guilin. I just needed to get out and into some civilisation pretty damn quickly.

So i booked a plane to take me from Chongquin City in South West China, to Guilin, South China.

Guilin and Yangshuo was to be my retreat for a week, and on a plane I could get there in one hour.

So i got from here...
To here overland.....

I think it works out about 10,000kms, which is good, but i feel as i have ran almost a full marathon and had to be carried across the finish line by some old fogey in a jump suit.


Article By David Beattie of Rounton Coffee

Posted by beatski 04:34 Archived in China Comments (0)

Yangtzee River Cruise

overcast 16 °C
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Yangtze River Cruise – 1st-5th November

I am on a foreign cruise on the Yangtze sailing from Yi Chang to Chongquing city. I opted for the foreign ship as I had had enough of the Chinese and wanted to get back inside the tourist bubble just to find a bit of relief.

Only what I find is that the only thing that makes this ship ‘Foreign’ is the fact that it has some signs in English, has an English speaking person on board, and costs you another £80 than normal. Once again, I am the only non-Chinese about, once again, I am one of the main features that the Chinese can take pictures of, I have just had an old lady stood outside my bedroom window looking right at me and in my room, as blazon as you like stood there for a good while as well, the rest of them take pictures and try to video record me covertly, weird. Well nobody said that this trip was going to be easy and I never thought that China would be a walk in the park.

Never the less, the Yangtze cruise is a chilled 3 day trip passing through Chinas must see gorges, some remote fishing and farming villages and the impressive Three Gorges Dam which is really quite impressive. The building of this Dam raised the water level upstream from Yi Chang by almost 175 meters flooding cities and villages and displacing 1.3 million people into purpose built cities. The dam is capable of 18,200MW and supplies China with 1/10th of its power. What it has also done of course is make the river upstream of Yi Chang more of a lake, perhaps a septic tank would be a better way to describe the stagnant water which is topped up from the crap being pumped into it from all the unregulated factories. I heard that 100 cracks were recently found in the dam and if it were to burst, the entire population of Yi Chang would be dead within one hour. What a thought, mind you it would help the population problem that China have gotten themselves into. Might be a brief power outage mind.

So what do the Chinese do on a 4* (which it clearly isn’t) cruise liner on the Yangtze, well they play a lot of Mahjong. They like the Karaoke, which is hilarious. At feeding time the Neanderthals wolf down their food in fine primitive fashion leaving mess everywhere as they gnaw through the food enthusiastically spraying the area with food. Throat clearing and spitting doesn’t stop for meal times. Dining with the Chinese generally will last 5-10 minutes. They stick me on a table in the corner and give me a knife and fork.

What a loser!!!!

There is a Chinese Crew Show Party on tonight, I'm trying to picture Aga-do Butlins style with a bunch of uninterested throat clearing Chinese cavemen. I'm looking forward to that one, and to help the journey along a little bit I had to top my fridge up with some of my favourite Chinese beverages.

If your stuck on a boat with a load of Chinese, load up on beer....
3 gorges damn ship lock...
Ship lock at night...
some of the nicer sights...
Chinese Boat....

Article By David Beattie of Rounton Coffee

Posted by beatski 04:20 Archived in China Tagged river yangtzee Comments (0)

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